Breaking the Fear and Failure Cycle

 "Failure is a feeling long before it becomes an actual result. It's vulnerability that breeds with self-doubt and is escalated, often deliberately, by fear." - Michelle Obama

What can I do to break the cycle of fear and failure? I think this had to begin with me. I realized years ago that I couldn't stop failure from happening. It was going to come. So, why fear it? There is a person I love dearly that has a debilitaing fear of failure and so hasn't been willing, or able, to try. This has translated into trying new foods for fear of not liking them. Trying a new adventure for fear of not being good at it or not being as good as the people around her. Fear of not winning so not being willing to play. I have watched this person for years, since a young child. I decided that I wasn't going to be like that. 

I've tried to teach my children to jump in and try. Sometimes they remind me that I can't be afraid. It is a team effort. We've had to learn that if we fail, we get back up and do it again, try in a different way, or move onto something new. But, we weren't afraid of doing it. We are better for the effort.

I teach my students about a Growth Mindset. The growth mindset embraces challenges and persists in the face of setbacks or failures. We identify the effort made in the challenge to learn and grow. We take the correction we get, embrace it, and use it to move forward. We cheer for others and their growth - big and small. This has been a game changer in our class. One of my favorite activities is "cheering the hero" - the person brave enough to try in front of the class even though they aren't sure if they are correct. It is powerful. It lets everyone know that just stepping into a try is better than sitting back and doing nothing. 

I hope my efforts to be a try-er, teaching my own children, and embracing a growth mindset in my classroom helps future generations of people avoid the rut of being afraid to fail.

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